June 1, 2, & 3, 2007 at DeSales University
Center Valley, Pennsylvania
Another fantastic weekend for WFS and 4C women! We had 108 women booked in at DeSales University Campus in Pennsylvania the first weekend in June. Our annual fundraising auction was a HUGE success. This year’s auction raised $13,500!! We raised $2,100 more than last year’s auction! The spirit of generosity was truly in the air and in the hearts of our members that weekend. WFS is ever so grateful for this continued support. Thank you to all who participated in the auction!
Becky Fenner, WFS Director
I came back from the WFS Conference this year, filled to the brim with positive thoughts and feelings. First of all, I’d like to say thank you to Becky and all of her staff for organizing the conference. They have outdone themselves, again. Becky’s energy seems endless in her ability to plan and organize and come up with new ideas for the conference each year. Thank you Becky and Ralph, Mary, Caitlin and Megan!
The weekend kicked off on Friday night with individual introductions around the room, leaving me with the excitement that I KNEW that I was in the right place because I identified with so many of the women and their stories. It was very emotional, for me, to hear not only the newcomer to sobriety, but the stories of the women who had abstinence yet no quality sobriety until they found WFS. It was wonderful to see familiar faces and get to meet new women, not only new to the program but new to sobriety. They are all miracles to me!
Our Saturday morning speaker, Rita Miller, was brilliantly witty and funny. She gave a motivational talk on personality types and had us all defining our own types as well as better understanding those personality types in our lives. It was an eye-opener.
We had many different choices of workshops to choose from. I chose “Foods and Moods,” “Goals and Time Management,” and “Assertiveness.” I learned something valuable to use from each of them. I also volunteered to work on the auction. Volunteering is a great way to feel a part of helping WFS. There are many duties but I think mine was the best. Before the auction, I got to work with the WFS office staff, Mary, Caitlin and Megan and other volunteers. It was just like Christmas, opening up all of the boxes of auction items donated by WFS members and putting a suggested starting bid on each, then laying them out on the tables for the silent and live auctions. It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys. What a generous and creative group of women we have!!
There was also a wonderful selection of books for sale from the WFS office. They covered every issue for women that you could imagine. Each year I find new books to take home or find a gift for someone else. I did buy one book called Awakening- A Daily Guide to Conscious Living by Shakti Gawain (available in WFS’s Catalog). I am using it as a daily meditation book and I love it! Other books I learned about that I want to order are: Understanding Personality Differences, by Karen Lawson, Phd.; Food and Mood, by Elizabeth Somer; How To Be An Adult, by David Richo; and Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life, by Jon Kabat-zinn (available in WFS’s Catalog)
Someone, very thoughtfully, donated diaries for each attendee and I immediately began writing about all of the awareness I was having and I began to fill it with new affirmations. I am continuing to write in my diary and I love reading back over the affirmations that I wrote from the conference. These were some of my entries:
Over the years I have learned that you can choose to do anything you personally feel like at the conference. There is always something going on so that you don’t have to be alone and the campus is big so that you can walk all over or just be alone and meditate. A lot of the women love to stay up and laugh and talk in the lobby of the dorm and they have a ball. I’m more of a quiet, early-to-bed person myself and that’s perfectly ok. This particular conference was special because I had an opportunity for some real one on one, quality time with a few women I hadn’t had in a while. I will treasure those conversations.
Now I am home and my lifestyle is very remote and quiet. I will need to make a conscious effort, each day, to stay committed to my goals. My goals are to commit to Nancy Cross’s Monday morning online WFS chat. I also want to begin participating in writing for the WFS/MSN online message board series. And I will continue to write for Sobering Thoughts. It has been easy for me to isolate and not maintain my involvement so I am telling you now. It will be MY RESPONSIBILITY to walk my talk.
The conference closed this year with a very special surprise created by Becky and her husband, Ralph. They personally put together the memories from the past 31 years of conferences, beginning with the first conference held at Jean’s farmhouse. The DVD of photos and music were beautifully integrated and brought tears of gratitude to every eye in the room. Thank you both for all of your hard work and love for WFS.
My renewed enthusiasm is a direct result from this year’s wonderful gathering of women, all choosing to improve themselves and make their lives better. I am extremely grateful. Thank you all for sharing your sobriety and success stories with me. May we all live fully and consciously and don’t forget to let yourselves bloom gently today.
Ann marie - British Columbia
My conference experiences were many and varied. I arrived early on Thursday and spent the day meeting and greeting the ladies as they arrived. Blondie, Allie and “Stopanator” had set up a table for newbie’s but everyone was encouraged to stop by. It was suggested we decorate our name tags with glitter and stickers! We also got to put our name on a large map, letting everyone know how far each of us had traveled to our conference. That was a lot of fun seeing all the areas represented.
Jan, again, put together an awesome table of cold cuts, salads, and veggies for the ladies as they arrived on Thursday so they didn’t have to immediately run out and find dinner. It is relaxing to sit, unwind and know you don’t have to travel anymore that day. Thanks from the bottom of all our hearts Jan. You are a 4C woman.
Friday there were some workshops to attend, WFS group meetings and just getting to know everyone. We all await the opening ceremonies at 7:30 PM. Everyone had the opportunity to tell a bit of their story, how they found WFS, where they live. It is gratifying to know we are not alone and we have support. Then it was off to either a moderators meeting or an informal “welcoming” by Linda for those that were attending their first conference.
Saturday was our big day. We started with a marvelous session with Rita Miller, our guest speaker. She reminded us right up front that our weekend is the equivalent of our husband’s fishing/golf/hunting trip, so make the most of it for ourselves. We deserve it! She was one of many highlights of the weekend. Thank you, Rita! Everyone kept comparing what type of personality they were for the rest of the weekend. For those who weren’t able to attend, she handed out a sheet that had us list how we would act in any given situation and that rated our personality type. Of course there were no right or wrong answers, it’s who we are. It’s how we face life situations.
Following that were two different time periods of discussion or presentations on a variety of topics - everything from health, feelings/emotions and fun things like scrap booking your recovery… something for everyone.
Then the highlight of the weekend was the WFS fundraising auction. As usual it was lively and fun. “Zeecha,” you did a wonderful job as auctioneer and you had lots of helpers to keep things going. This is our opportunity to give back to the organization that supports our sobriety and recovery. There are so many wonderful treasures contributed to this fundraiser. We are 4C women! We had three beautiful Afghans put together by “Calimom,” and she asked the online ladies for crocheted or knitted squares that she assembled into lovely covers that will be treasured by the ladies who ‘won’ them. She is looking for more for next year. A small way to give back and support WFS if you are a crafter, a rectangle of leftover yarn and, heaven knows we crafters have bags of that kind of stuff.
After our dinner, we had opportunities to take pictures of our friends, new and old, and several group shots if one wished to attend. I also enjoyed the Buddhism and Sobriety presentation that evening.
Sunday morning, the time to start thinking of packing all the treasures I bought. I went home with more items than I came with. There were a variety of sessions right after breakfast, including a chat leaders meeting, how to start a group and yoga for those who wished. Then Suzanne, Renee and Blondie lead us in the closing session “Coming Full Circle.” They asked us a variety of questions in regard to what we had expected the conference to be, did it meet that expectation, what we gained and what WFS gained. They could put into words what their feelings were about the conference and themselves.
Then a lovely surprise that brought many a damp eye, Becky and Ralph put together a DVD of pictures of past conferences, ladies who have come before and ladies who are still very active in the organization, but a lot of memories for all.
Our final lunch is upon us, our goodbyes for this year and plans for the year to come. I think one of the highlights of the conference is to meet all the ladies we know from our online forum and the ladies who contribute to this newsletter. They are all important to our recovery. In years past, I have stated that I start planning for next year’s conference as soon as I get home. Well, this year I have to say it started before I left the conference. This is the highlight of my year… attending the WFS Conference. Like some of the ladies say about the f2f meeting being the first day of the week for them; conference time is the first day of the year for me. Thanks to all who make it possible.
Shirley - Guelph, Ontario, Canada
I enjoyed seeing everyone again and all of the new women and recognizing their screen names. It is really great to witness women who have never met face-to-face running up, screaming and hugging each other because they finally get to meet after only knowing each other online.
I really liked the workshops and the presenter who did the opening session on Saturday – she was a hoot! That really got the day started right. The auction was entertaining as usual and there were so many beautiful items donated by the women of WFS.
At the end of the last session on Sunday, we watched a DVD that Becky from the WFS office put together of pictures from past conferences. It was a beautiful presentation and we got to see some of the very first WFS Conferences when there were just a few women in attendance and it was held at Jean’s farmhouse.
It was such an amazing weekend and I learned so much, as usual. I already can’t wait until the next one and plan to start saving for it now. If you weren’t able to make it this year, consider trying to get there next year. It is so worth it and I haven’t found any other experience like it.
Ann (“TrueAnn92031” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
There are so many great moments. I could sit here and write a book, but I’ll just add that one of the best things is connecting with everybody: all the wonderful conversations with women, whether in small groups, or larger groups; and the huge late night gab fests. I haven’t laughed that much in a long time. Can’t wait for next year.
Ronni – Stevens Point, Wisconsin (“MoonRose” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
The thing that impressed me the most about the conference was the genuine caring and loving attitude of everyone. I felt so welcome. I expected that I might feel left out of groups and/or experiences because I thought other women would have already formed ‘cliques’ from previous conferences. I didn’t know people and I am usually not the kind of person who spontaneously joins a group of people who already know each other. But it wasn’t like that at all. Some women did already know each other but there were no cliques and I didn’t feel left out at all.
Some of the things that stand out the most for me:
Reading over this it sounds like it was just party-time but the workshops and speakers were great too. I got a lot of very useful information that I can use from all of them that I attended.
I encourage you to start setting a few bucks aside each week so you can go to the conference next year. Open a savings account at your bank as your WFS Conference Account and promise yourself that you won’t touch it for anything else. Conference was a great way to rejuvenate my new life!
Connie – Rohnert Park, California (“OhConnie13” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
Re-entry can be tough! I’m in a kind of sleepy daze this morning, having left the rarified atmosphere of the conference and made my way home to the real world.
But the conference was real too; real women sharing real stories, genuine camaraderie, lots of hugs. At any given moment, I could see a group of women laughing here, a couple sitting, leaning inward in an intense discussion, someone else standing or sitting alone and taking it all in or simply having a quiet moment.
At previous conferences, as I looked around me, I had to remind myself that we were there because we are women in recovery. Could these women have actually been in the grip of such a disease?
Snippets of conversations come back to me, and a lot of great one-liners:
It’s too soon to say what the lasting impressions will be and what details will stand out most clearly in my mind. For now, I see a room full of women standing in a circle, hands clasped. I feel the energy flow from one woman’s hands through mine and pass on to another, and so on around the room, like an electrical charge. “We are capable and competent, caring and compassionate, always willing to help another, bonded together in overcoming our addictions.” (WFS Motto) Their voices rise in unison and fill the room and echo through a hundred minds and hearts and lives.
I’m humbled and proud to be a part of this group. I’m grateful that Jean Kirkpatrick was committed to thousands of women she would never meet, and developed a means for us to help ourselves and each other to grow and thrive.
I’m still wrapped in the shawl of love and warmth and validation and understanding and feeling at home that enveloped me for four days. And I’m grateful. Very, very grateful.
Peg, Rhode Island
I never realized I could have so much fun – sober! That is what I said during our mini-group session yesterday, and that is what I still feel now.
I was absolutely terrified of going to the conference. Meeting new people just isn’t (or wasn’t) my thing. That soon changed once I arrived at noon on Friday. I figured I’d hide out in my room until dinner time, then sneak quickly into the cafeteria, grab something to eat and run back to my room. HAH – no such luck. Blondie “terrorized me” as she so kindly put it – found me in a corridor and took me under her wing. Thanks Blondie, I really appreciated your kindness and warmth, and you managed to keep me out of my room!
I met such wonderful ladies. I never realized how kind and loving other women could be. I feel like a changed person. I am still shy and will probably never enjoy public speaking – but I feel stronger than I’ve felt in a long time. Definitely feels like my batteries have been re-charged.
Thanks to all the wonderful, beautiful, intelligent women for changing my life.
Lena (“haxorgirl” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
I think what ‘hit’ me the most was the bond that I saw between members of some face-to-face groups (who all attended the conference together). My f2f is “fledgling” still and while we are bonded together (and getting closer each week), I saw groups of women who had been together for 4 or more years – and it motivated me to keep my group going and to do more for my group because those bonds were beautiful!
I’m so grateful to Becky and “Toots” for allowing me to get into service even though this was my first conference. I have always loved doing things like that and I thought 2 years ago that I would have to give that up. Now I know that just isn’t true.
Stephanie - Honomu, HI (“HonomuSteph” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
This was my 8th conference… I just love them. I’m glad that the last couple years I’ve decided to come in on Thursday, as it gives me Friday to just unwind before the conference begins. Here are some of my favorite recollections of this year’s conference:
It’s an incredible experience, and I so love being a part of WFS!
Sue - Champaign, Illinois (“Zeecha” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
This was my 3rd conference, in my 4 years with WFS. Each conference is a little different, yet the important things never change. It’s the only place I’ve ever gone to be in a large group of people where I knew that I would be met with open arms. This never changes.
The first night ceremonies, in which every single woman tells how she found WFS. At the beginning you think, “You mean that all of these women are going to stand up, one by one, and tell how they came to WFS?” And at the end, you’re in tears and wonder how the time passed so quickly.
The diversity of women is fantastic. We’ve got it all. The amazing openness of the women, with each other, sharing their stories. The feeling of safety, acceptance, and intense interest in everyone’s life.
It was the best of times. I learned a lot, I laughed a lot.
“Tooz” on WFS/MSN Online Forum
First, having been before, I decided to go up a day early and stay a day late. This trip is my present to myself, my tool for a lasting recovery, my opportunity to grow and learn something new, my chance to give back to WFS, my mirror to reflect on the last year of my life and my window to look ahead with enthusiasm in the year to come.
I traveled with “BeckySue” from New Orleans and “Kamaripoe” from Baton Rouge. We are the first three southern women to gather together at the conference and we all live within an hour or so of each other.
This year was particularly lively. I have been to many but this year was ELECTRIC from beginning to end… that is great. We had a lot less smokers this year and so I went inside and hung out with everyone and didn’t notice that I wasn’t smoking, and I’m glad I did… it added so much to my trip. You never know, maybe I will be a non-smoker next year.
I was honored to be given the task of Auction Patrol Leader! And to display my position, BeckyWFS placed a shiny badge in my tote bag to seal the deal. Of course, I brought my handy dandy whistle to alert the intense bidders to a table closing. If you were unknowingly standing next to me when I blew it, I apologize. If you approached me knowing I was going to blow it, you probably will run for your life, or hearing, next year!
When I went to my first conference, I didn’t have 12 hours sobriety. I had gotten drunk the night before and missed my plane. I begged God to get me on the standby flight and I got on. I remember when I had a moment to myself on that Saturday as I strolled across the grounds of the college. I was overwhelmed with the feelings I had about all the women and about sobriety that may some day be mine. How would I get there? As I walked, I just had this feeling of ‘coming home’ to myself. I felt whole, complete… and I had a lot of work ahead of me if I wanted what those ladies had. I wasn’t sure where this road goes. I didn’t get sober; I went home and continued to drink, entering treatment 4 months later.
This was my 7th conference in 8 years. And this year? Well, as I once again had a moment to myself strolling across the campus grounds and for the first time since my first conference, I felt as if I had ‘come home.’ I was whole, I was complete. And it was emotional and I choked up, remembering how frightened I was and how empowered I am now. It was real. I had come full circle from desperate alcoholic to a 4C woman named Julie. I did it. And that is when I cry… when I realized I did it… from little hope, lots of confusion and fear… I did it. It wasn’t easy, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that as long as I don’t drink, no matter how hard it is, I would succeed and truly return to myself one day.
I returned to the conference…. I returned to myself. I love you! I thank you for all you have given me. I just hope one day I give back in a way that adequately reflects my gratitude.
Julie - Morgan City, Louisiana (“Littlelamb18” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
I had class Friday night, so I didn’t get to the campus until around 9:30 PM. The opening ceremony was still going on, but I chose not to trek down there for the end of it. I was sitting in the lobby of Welsh as women returned and the feeling of joy that I got simply from being recognized and welcomed with open arms was almost overwhelming. It felt so good to be back with women who I know and love.
Last year I was afraid of not being accepted because I’m young. Instead I got compliments on understanding myself already. I was told that again this year, and I guess I’m still surprised at that, but thanks just the same. I mean it… thank you.
Next year I’ll be there on Thursday (no more classes after December!!), and I’ll be sure to find everyone that I want to talk to. Thanks for an amazing weekend ladies. I love you all!
Rachel – Vestal, New York (“Starqueg1” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
Maybe it’s just my gregarious nature, but I never felt nervous. I think it is because I have made so many deeper connections online. But even then, I met lots of sisters who do not go online.
I NEED this program… every day, in so many ways. More chats for me, more phone contact. I could go on forever, but I will say that I will be so much more at ease calling a sober sister for support, or just to make contact, now that I have seen their beautiful faces and felt their acceptance and love for me up close and personal.
Okay, one more thing. I love those group meetings. I went to my First, Second, AND Third ones ‘ever’ there at the conference. All were vastly beneficial.
Love and peace and save your pennies and come next year one and all!!
Leah – Gillette, Wyoming (“GracedL2” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
The Saturday morning speaker at the conference talked about how we women need a regular gathering such as the WFS Conference that is our “hunting trip” (or fishing trip or golf weekend). We need to give ourselves permission to leave our busy lives and families – however wonderful they may be – to be with other women and to take care of ourselves. We need to do this without apologies and with the knowledge that we deserve it.
I came to my first WFS Conference this year with no expectations other than looking to find some intangible missing piece to my recovery. I found it. I don’t exactly know what it is yet, but here’s what I do know, and what I learned.
What I Learned About Women on My WFS ‘Hunting Trip’
I remember reading last year about women who didn’t attend the conference and who felt bad when they read about it online. If you couldn’t go this year – either because of logistics or anxiety – but wanted to, please don’t allow yourself to feel down or left out. “Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.” Plan now to go next year! Know that you were a part of the weekend in spirit. You added to the strength and the love. Truly.
Lisa – Milwaukee, Wisconsin (“CapableMarie” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
“Dougal” and I arrived Thursday night with “SoberTessa,” who was coming to the conference for the first time. Everyone immediately connected with the other ladies. It was so awesome to see the first time conference attendees and the ‘veterans’ chatting with each other. I met some great people the first night.
This was my second conference and this year I was so much more comfortable approaching people I didn’t know, or sitting with people I hadn’t met. Meals were a great time to share stories with women from all over the country and learning more about them.
The workshops were so helpful to me and I’ve poured over the handouts I received in them, as well as making my plans to work the suggestions in them.
The auction was incredible. I left before the closing ceremony, so I don’t know how much money was donated compared to last year. I came away from the auction with some items I’ll treasure. Can’t wait for next year.
Mary Anne (“Mbeam251” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
Well, what can I say? It was basically life-changing for me. I don’t think I had any real expectations of the conference, being a first-timer, but I am glad because I never could have imagined how wonderful this weekend could have been. A lot of tears flowed when least expected and I smiled so much and talked to so many wonderful women that my mouth hurts!
I really just want to thank all of you. Everyone was so friendly and genuinely honest, that it was so refreshing. I learned so much and I was inspired by so many women there. Your faces are all ingrained in my head. I made so many new friends that will forever stay in my heart. I wish I had more days to get to know even more women. Every woman there brought something of themselves to this conference. And each one makes a difference to someone; it is invigorating the strength, the love. I really cannot say enough about it. I am not going to lie, when I first got there I was so scared but soon enough I saw Madeline, my email buddy, and Blondie came on up and offered big hugs and after that I saw everyone from chat and I felt home. I also met women who don’t go online who were wonderful. I am refreshed and my battery is charged and I am a COMPETENT woman.
Sandy – Wildwood, Missouri (“flower1566” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
I think I will refer to the conference as my “yearly fishing trip”! I have never been at a conference that was all women with such a strong common bond.
I was nervous and had no expectations, but before I went I promised myself I would not hide in my room. I didn’t even have to worry about that! For one, there was no time to hide, and women just kept coming up to me, introducing themselves, and giving hugs. I felt totally at ease the moment I met Connie at the airport in Atlanta, then once again as soon as we entered the lounge area of our dormitory.
I got a lot out of the workshops, bought some books in the bookstore (I read one on the flight home), and made many new friends. The auction was fun, and all the donations were impressive. Sandy (“flower”) and I had a little bidding war on a ‘doggie’ basket at the silent auction. I just loved putting faces with names and learning about so many women’s lives. I left yesterday refreshed, inspired, and comfortable with who I am (which is huge for me). I had so much energy when I got home; I cooked a Mexican meal for my husband and sons!
Everyone should put the conference on their goal list for next year and open a savings account just for the conference (great idea Connie!).
Madeline – Deerfield Beach, Florida (“NoLookingBack1” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
I was met at the airport by wonderful “Dougal” and we drove over to pick up wonderful “Mbeam.” We laughed the entire way to the conference. Any nervousness I might have had melted away on that car ride.
The conference was an amazing experience! I did expect it to be fun and informative, thanks to Blondie’s posts on the message board about it, but the experience exceeded my expectations by a million miles. I have never felt such love and acceptance in my entire life. The kindness of the women was amazing. In fact, during the auction on Saturday, I got so choked up with emotion, I stepped out for a few moments to regain my composure.
The four days absolutely flew by. The love, hugs and tears were incredible. I got to have long talks at night with my beautiful roommate, “Stopanator.” I could not have had a better roomie!
During the closing ceremony, we got to watch a DVD put together by Becky and her husband with pictures of conferences past, even some pictures of the earliest conferences at Jean’s house. The final picture was of our founder, Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick. It was an incredible photo; you could just see the 4C-ness shining through in her eyes. Thank you for taking the time to put that together!
On Friday (payday) I am going directly to the bank to open a savings account to save for the conference for next year! Please, please try to make next year’s conference. It is an experience that is not to be missed! This conference left me with a feeling of empowerment that I have never felt before!
Tessa - Ft Collins, Colorado (“SoberTessa” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
I volunteered to be on the ‘welcoming’ committee with Blondie and her group. Blondie, Allie and I dressed up in wild colored costumes and some very funky colored fake eyelashes. We set up our little station with a big sign welcoming the first time conference goers. Blondie was truly amazing. She thought of everything and hauled it all the way from Seattle to Pennsylvania to boot! She set up stations to get any sisters who were feeling a little scared or intimidated actively involved right from the start.
The first table had tons of stickers, markers, glue, glitter, and even some stick-on eyeballs to decorate and personalize your name tags. Then it was off to Station #2, which held mini-photo albums for anyone who wanted one to hold their memories of the weekend. Station #3 was a large map of the U.S. and Canada. We wrote our names on stickers and stuck them on push pins on the map of where we came from. What a cool idea!! Station #3 also had magazines, nail polishes, and decks of cards. I think everyone who walked in felt immediately at ease and comfortable right from the start.
Jan (“Puterduh”) provided an awesome meal for all of us on Thursday evening. It was so very thoughtful and very much appreciated by all the hungry travelers. A large group of us gathered in Welsh Dorm’s main area and just bonded and chatted for hours. I had treated myself to a professional massage since there were masseuses right there for us. It was my very first one ever and I’m a bit scared that it will become my newest addiction.
On Friday, a group of us went out to dinner before heading to the Welcoming Ceremony. It was a great way to put faces and names together. There was even one amazing 4C woman who was courageous enough to have come to the conference after finding WFS only 2 weeks earlier. Her name was Kathleen and she was totally awesome. And there was a sweet woman who was there attending her 20th conference! The group was so diverse and everyone seemed so comfortable with one another.
Saturday was a full day going from workshop to workshop. The speakers were truly fabulous and I took something out of each and every one I attended. Following the workshops was the auction. There was a silent auction filled with tables upon tables of great items you could write your bid on the paper next to the item and then someone would come along and outbid you. I kept a close eye on the items I wanted and kept bidding higher and higher. I did get a great bath relaxation basket that “Toots” made and even used it last night after the long ride home.
I reflected on my conference experience the entire drive home on Sunday. I found myself tearing up on a few occasions for some reason. Happy, overwhelming, warm tears. My experience was truly amazing and life-changing. If you haven’t been there before, it’s most definitely something not to miss. This being my first conference, I will definitely be saving my pennies and am booking the time off now for next year. It can’t get here soon enough!
Julie (“Stopanator” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
My favorite part of the conference is when women introduce themselves. It has been a moving experience for me, both times. This year I was worried because I didn’t smoke anymore and thought I would be ‘jumpy’ but in fact, the opposite was true. I could listen to people; I could relax into a conversation (not having to think when I can get away for a smoke) and I didn’t have to remain outside only with smokers.
I guarded the auction bids I made a tad zealously but I am delighted to say I have Angie’s beautiful photos and Ellen’s flower and Peg’s painting. The auction is moving to me too because women give so much one way or another.
It was really nice to see the change in some women. Some looked brighter and shinier – more beautiful than last year. That was inspiring to me. I love this program; I am grateful to this program and I am so inspired by you all! I owe a debt of gratitude to Andrea who sparked the idea for me to go and I have decided I will go every year.
Karen - Cornwall, Ontario (“Patched” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
Words cannot describe the continuous feeling of love and warmth
I received from each and every woman I met at this conference. It was my first time and I had not met any of the women there before (with the exception of one). But that did not seem to matter one bit. Everyone was open and friendly.
Another thing I was unprepared for was the incredible beauty of the campus and surrounding area. From the early morning walks as the fog burned off to reveal huge fields of clover, to the evening when deer came out to graze at dusk as we were walking back from dinner. And the trip back to the airport through tiny villages of farms and stone covered country bed and breakfasts; it was the perfect peaceful setting for a weekend of spiritual recovery.
Beth (“Mellowmom2” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
My 5th conference – 4th consecutively (having attended my first one 9 years ago). I am preserving and developing stability every year I stay sober and that means a lot to me.
I enjoyed the gatherings in small groups. Along with camaraderie from all of the attendees, I always love meeting sisters from the online forum… do they look as I imagine? Are they extroverts, shy? Now, after a conference speaker discussed personality types… are you an A, B, C, or D?? That workshop alone allowed me to better understand one of my very dear friends when I saw that she fit the ‘D’ description to a T. I will actually better understand her just by learning about that personality type. I had a compassionate ‘aha’ over that, and especially seeing in our group, there are not many ‘D’s’.
I witnessed an overabundance of helping one another ALL WEEKEND LONG. Moderators were encouraging their group members to attend the conference. Group members encouraging their moderators to attend with them – this is so much 4C. We really do help each other up and move each other to a better spot in actions and words. Then I saw gift exchanges – women bidding on items just to give someone else a gift. We support each other through love and caring. I hear us keeping each other company louder than ever before from this weekend.
Thank you for giving the first weekend in June a supreme time for growth, celebrating love, understanding for me, and an incredible bond with you sisters. I am in your debt.
Jan (“puterduh” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
This was my first conference with 2 months sobriety under my belt. I admit I was a bit nervous the first day – wondering if women would like me and want to talk to me or if they all had their own friends already and wouldn’t bother even noticing me. But those fears were quickly dispelled! I met women from all walks of life – many attended for the first time like me. I was fortunate enough to share a room with a wonderful lady who was just 2 weeks into the program and came. If she can do it with knowing absolutely no one, we all certainly can!
My favorite part of the conference was the Friday introductions. I was scribbling notes as women talked so I could remember a little about them. I participated in yoga, a few meetings, and a workshop on ‘feelings.’ What great experiences! It really was life-changing for me – this truly is the beginning of my new life! Attending the conference absolutely was worth every penny – this is something I will treasure forever and wouldn’t ever change for any amount of booze.
Cindy (“dare2dazzle” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
I heard many women saying throughout the conference, “I have never been a joiner, but I joined this.” Ditto! This was only one of the many statements I heard that has confirmed to me that alcoholic women, regardless of age, race, height, weight, creed or sexual expression share certain commonalities almost across the board. What talents (hidden, discovered or rediscovered) we possess beyond shared fears and concerns. To follow are unforgettable impressions backed by thousands of words.
“Since I quit drinking, I have learned to play the mandolin. In fact, I play as part of an orchestra.” A Buddhist scholar and tiny dynamo shared her brilliance, stories, and starter meditations for the uninitiated. My senses were delighted to now know a Trapeze Artist and Show Dog Trainer – to witness an Auctioneer’s playfulness bumping up the bids – to consider a $2,100 Quilt was undersold since it is truly priceless – to experience a mutual cherishing of books, ideas, words, and a commitment to living an honorable life. Stages of an artist’s work imbued with the joy of her watchers, captured in the paint, varnish and shellac. The continuum of middle of the night, quiet, unexpected conversations to the cacophony of energized, joy-filled connectedness – Fabulous Thursday Night Food fest – Glittery eyelashes adorning a fun-filled face, framed with blonde locks affirmed my spark as I arrived. Play dates with sparkles and goop, paper and pushpins out of which emerged a map of our small world and our place in it. Leaders of different ilk – Angels leading Yoga – Tiaras with their secret brand of twinkle, from small and elegant to worthy of the Queens, Princesses and Goddesses that we are. Big girl panties signed by all and stuffed with love. Others reaching out to know me – Acceptance – Inclusion. The willingness to examine weaknesses in order to grow while celebrating our victories, courage, and personal power.
These 4 days – Tilled by All, Fertilized with Ideas, Watered through Camaraderie, and Nourished by the Sunshine of 4C Sisterly Love – will inspire me through the coming year. I have experienced Statement #10 to its fullest.
Cher - Clearwater, Florida
Even though this was my 3rd conference, it surpassed my expectations. It was great to put a face to names and to reconnect with everyone from past conferences. Good to see 25 first-timers this year.
So many emotional moments, sharing, learning. The slideshow of photos of past conferences with the Last Photo of Jean was just too much. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room. Thank you Becky and Ralph and anyone else involved.
Diane – Meaford, Ontario, Canada (“CanuckDiane1” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
We started early… four of us from the Lakewood, NJ group. Met at Margaret’s, jumped in her car and we were ‘off’! Anxious to get there, we pulled into a rest-stop only once and that in itself is a record of some sort. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the college, one sister realized she had left her purse at the McDonald’s rest-stop. Now what exit was that? How far was it into NJ?
Well, bless her heart, Margaret said, “Let’s go find the place.” Back in the car they jumped. I stayed behind to get ready for the WFS meeting we were supposed to run and realized all the handouts and bookmarks were in Margaret’s car… which was now somewhere in NJ trying to locate the elusive McDonalds. Well, the store was located, the bag found, a reward given, and all were present for the WFS meeting at 3 PM.
Fortunate and blessed are those who have WFS women in their lives. I knew as soon as the ‘good karma’ started it would be a great weekend and it was! Thank you all for adding to my joy.
Ruth Ann - Lakewood, NJ (“RA-2001” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
This was my 3rd conference and what I learned is that each one has its own vibe and tone. Last year was very boisterous and energetic. This year was more calm and peaceful. I feel like I was able to talk and connect with more women this year than last year. It was less hurried and frantic. It is not better or worse, just different, and I am already looking forward to see what next year will bring. I realized I can no longer describe the conference to others and explain what kind of experience they will have, because it is so different from year to year and person to person.
In the early morning, I had a wonderful walk with Leah and Peg around the campus, passing quite a few other Wiffers on their own morning walks. It almost felt as if we were all neighbors…. (Sighing now at the memory and the fantasy of actually living near one another.) It also felt really, really amazing that many women commented on my weight loss who had met me last year, when I was 35 lbs heavier. Makes me smile just thinking about it now. These women sure do make me feel special! Actually, quite a few of us lost weight from last year… Zeecha, Donna, and Allie all looked fabulous!
I was very nervous because I quit smoking 3 months ago and the smoking last year was pretty out-of-control (chain-smoking). But this must’ve been the year-of-the-quit because there were very few smokers and certainly not the gang there was in previous years. What a wonderful surprise! I was so grateful not to be preoccupied with cigarettes this year and be able to enjoy the (dry) indoors with everyone else. And very thankful that it was not as hard as I thought it’d be.
Jen – Mount Laurel, New Jersey (“kalestar” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
I was pretty worried before the conference about whether or not I would feel left out or even find someone to talk to. I ended up meeting so many amazing women this weekend, and they all made me feel welcome. The highlights for me (in no particular order) were:
I am really glad I went despite my fears, and now I feel even stronger. I am sincerely glad to have met each and every woman there, and feel like I have made some wonderful friends. I hope to see everyone back next year along with some new faces as well.
“Laurie_V” on WFS/MSN Online Forum