June 6, 7, & 8, 2008 at DeSales University
Center Valley, Pennsylvania
Another fantastic weekend for Women for Sobriety and 4C women! We had 117 women booked in at DeSales University Campus in Center Valley, Pennsylvania from June 6 - 8. Our annual fundraising auction was a HUGE success. This year’s auction raised $15,225!! We raised $1,664 more than last year’s auction! The spirit of generosity was truly in the air and in the hearts of our members that weekend. When you have everyone focusing all their passion and support for this recovery program and for their 4C Sisters...amazing amounts of positive energy is created in those 2 hours of the auction! WFS is ever so grateful for the financial support we continue to receive from our annual fundraiser. Thank you to all who participated in raising much needed funds throughout the conference weekend!!
Becky Fenner, WFS Director
I have to start my thoughts on the conference of thanking Becky and her staff for another fantastic weekend. It was, again, memorable.
I have had different women tell me since I got home that, I seemed very busy, always on the go and never sitting down. Now, to me, I thought I was taking it easier on myself this year. I didn’t sign up for the sessions on Friday, I spent time browsing the bookstore before everything was gone and I went for lots of invigorating walks.
The session on Food and Addiction was interesting; there is always something to learn when you have an open mind. I think the thing that stood out the most in the guidelines was, “Treat the body with dignity and self-respect.” I know I can never be reminded enough of how important healthy eating and living can be for me.
Then, I led the session on isolation. I know that even if I was in charge of the discussion, I also learned many things from the women on the importance of not isolating, knowing when to reach out and knowing that we are all important. Thanks to all the lovely women who joined me.
Saturday afternoon was brilliant with the auction, with each of us trying to take home the perfect item.
Then it is Sunday and time to pack up and head for home. There is the joy of having reconnected with the women we have come to know and respect over the years and the sadness that things are over for another year. Now we start to say, “Take care of yourself and see you next year, same weekend, and same place.” Have a safe and healthy year.
Shirley Schuy, Moderator & WFS Board Member
Guelph & Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
Hello competent women! What a wonderful weekend 117 women had!
Going to the WFS Conference really nourishes my inner self; it waters my spiritual garden. Why? Because of meeting up with friends from previous years, meeting new friends, listening, laughing, and talking...just all sorts of nice things.
I came in for the conference early on Thursday night. Just an early night to hang out and begin catching up and meeting up!
Friday I enjoyed the wonderful gift of a massage from two special WFS sisters - the best!! “All love given returns.” I was touched by the generosity. Friday marks the “official” opening at the evening introduction ceremony; however there are some WFS meetings that are held, and other topics were also covered. I was impressed by the material/discussion in the terrific session on Relapse Prevention I attended. Very thought-provoking and well done! That session made me realize that attending the conference is part of my plan for growing in recovery.
“Toots” and I hosted a meeting for newcomers…really it was just me talking, trying to give the first-time conference go-er’s a head’s up on what to expect. I wonder if anyone noticed I have no trouble speaking in front of an audience?!!
I am once again SO impressed by the generosity of the women of WFS. The live and silent auctions were a HUGE success!! Thank you to all who donated such unique and beautiful items. These auctions aren’t really the type of auction to find a bargain at...it’s a fundraising auction--we want you to bid it up! It’s important! I am proud to say that the auction raised over $15,000!!!! I believe Becky said that $15,151 was raised. Wow Wow Wow Wow Wow. Personally, I had a lot of fun bidding on a couple of silent auction pieces (afghans). I am so impressed by all the talented members (or their significant others’) who make such beautiful items. I wish I had gotten one of those 4C hand carved cherry wood bowls! Those were absolutely gorgeous.
The sessions I attended were just wonderful. During one session, I thought it was just so-so. It’s only been after a bit of reflecting that I realize...well, maybe this topic is a bit close to the bone for me; it feels so sensitive (the session was on shame). I believe I have some new thoughts to explore, to journal about.
The keynote speaker was Rita Miller and she was great! Her topic was called, “The 5th C - Change.” Her speech showed that she had learned/come to understand so much more on what WFS is about, I thought. She uses humor in such a way that it not only makes you laugh, but you remember more of things too. Raising our arms up in victory - like when we cross the finish line, or score a goal - and say, “Yesssssssss!” is an empowering thing, let me tell you, and when 100+ women are doing that--wooo! Yes! And this, all in response to change!!
The thing that always strikes me about the conference, though, is the women. We are so many strong and beautiful women! I had the chance to speak with several women, getting to know them better...and it was just so nice. We are all so different, yet we are indeed bonded together. I hold so many of you close in my heart. So many beautiful smiles...women I just wanted to hug. I think I should’ve given more hugs and the morning walks/talks were just wonderful. Sharing mealtime with such interesting women…the pleasure was all mine!
I can hardly wait until next year! I am renewed, re-invigorated to help WFS, to help my sisters....thank you everybody!
Sue Kapacinskas, Moderator & Chat Leader
Champaign, Illinois (“Zeecha” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
This was my first conference and I loved it. It was so good to put faces with names and give hugs in person.
Now that I’ve had time to think, perhaps I can actually verbalize what I’ve been feeling.
Life is not fair. It throws all kinds of things at us during the year. Sometimes they are major losses and other times it’s just the usual stuff that life is made of...disappointments, hurt feelings, etc. Depending on what has been thrown our way, it seems like the end result is a piece of our heart breaks and sometimes it hardens.
For me, I feel like my heart softened during conference... some of those hard spots disappeared. And some of the cracks were healed.
I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t also feel some conflicting emotions. I really saw some things in myself I hadn’t anticipated; some hurts from childhood resurfaced and whether I like it or not, I’m the one who has to heal these things. But attending the conference showed me that I’m not unique. Many of us have experienced the same heartaches and insecurities. We can get through this.
I came back from the conference with a new commitment to my sobriety. I’m going to get back to basics...where everything starts.
Would I recommend the conference? In a heartbeat. I’ve never been comfortable in large groups, especially women, but this really was like being in a room with your sisters.
Doris (“dorbow55” on WFS/MSN Online Forum)
The conference was so wonderful. I have never been anywhere that is all women and there is no drama. Everyone was so welcoming and friendly. The love and support for each other was incredible. It is an awesome feeling to be with women that all get where you are coming from.
I went to the conference without a lot of sober time. I started in January and the longest I have gone was 5 weeks. Once I drank, I struggled with getting any real time under my belt. I just couldn’t get it....
Well, going to the conference changed this for me. I came home not wanting to drink. I know, and believe, that life is truly better without drinking. The women there were living proof. If I can achieve half as much confidence, love, insight, kindness and energy as the women at the conference, I will feel so blessed. Getting sober really does create a New Life.
I can’t say I haven’t thought about drinking but the difference is that it is not such a struggle to say, “I don’t do that anymore.” I don’t feel like I am missing anything. What is one glass of wine??? Nothing worth giving up the New Life I am on the way to having.
Thank you ladies, you have all helped me in ways you can not imagine. You are all a truly beautiful group of women and I feel so lucky to have the chance to get to know each and everyone of you.
I met so many incredible women. I would like to say a special thanks to TG, Allie_RN, Flower, Molly4Cforever, RockMyBabies, all the New Life Moms, and Blondie for making me feel welcome.
“Summer_girl1999” on WFS/MSN Online Forum
The Conference! If you have been to a WFS Conference, those two words have a magical effect on you. If you haven’t been to a WFS Conference, you should seriously consider going. The Conference is a transformative experience.
Conference 2008 was my third conference. Each one has been extraordinary and unique…as I said - transformative. For me it’s been a real snapshot of where I’m at on my journey; and just one more tool to measure my growth as a woman in recovery.
One of the things I kept hearing at the conference is how different each year can be. I know this to be true. Two years ago I wrote about it; yet I didn’t really understand it.
I came to my first conference in 2005. I was sober for 5 years, a fairly new face-to-face moderator, after having moderated on the WFS/AOL message board for a few years. I traveled with two of the women from my group. The thing I remember most about that year was how much and how hard I laughed. We rolled on the grass and laughed until we cried. I was giddy with excitement and anticipation all weekend long. The Friday opening ceremony filled me with love and awe and I was so overwhelmed I almost fainted! Imagine 100 plus women sharing their stories. It so powerfully illustrated “bonded together in overcoming our addiction.” And, while I loved being a part of that experience, I was terrified for my turn. I came close to bolting but my friends held my hands and encouraged me. It was a big step for me. I stuck to my friends like glue that weekend; I felt shy and afraid of this wonderful new adventure.
The next year I traveled with a friend I met on the message board. We shared a bathroom and it was a good opportunity for us to bond in ways beyond the Internet. This year was different in that I wanted to play less and learn more. I devoured the workshops, participated in meetings and shyly sat on the fringes of the groups in the dorm lobby. I attended my first WFS Board Meeting as a newly elected Board Member and thought I’d burst with enthusiasm and pride. I truly felt a part of this very special group. Still, I felt nervous and shy at times and would need to go to my room for “down time.”
I missed 2007 due to work obligations. I had just returned from some job training and felt like I couldn’t leave again. I wish I’d had gone. I really didn’t put myself first and I learned a valuable lesson from this.
This year was the best one yet! Its two weeks later and I am still reveling in the peace and sense of self I gained that weekend. Even after a 6-hour airport delay on my return flight, and coming home to my business being flooded, I remained calm and happy. Incredible! I came home with a sense of peace and well-being I don’t ever remember having.
I traveled alone to this conference. I made it a point to reach out to others, to get to know some of the women I’ve talked to online and met at previous conferences. I had a new bathroom mate and we spent many hours walking and talking. It was a great way to start and end each day. I had lunch and dinner with new women and very bravely sat in the dorm lobby! I was happy to discover I wasn’t shy. Instead of participating in workshops, I chose instead to work behind the scenes, assisting the WFS Office staff. It was fun and it felt good to be of service. I was raring to go at the Friday night ceremony – I could have done a tap dance I was so excited. And, once again, the stories of all the women brought me to tears and reminded how powerfully bonded we all are. Sisterhood is strong is WFS!
The conference experience is so powerful on so many levels. There is much information to learn, courtesy of all of the excellent workshops offered. The opening ceremony gives us all an opportunity to meet one another, to put names with faces, to see how truly connected we are, despite the diversity of our looks. The auction gives us the opportunity to support WFS financially, buy some cool stuff for ourselves and to have a blast while doing it. We have plenty of time to walk, to talk, to share, and to discover each other and ourselves. It’s a perfectly balanced weekend, dedicated to us, women in recovery. Start planning for next year ladies!
Many thanks to Becky, Ralph, Mary, the WFS office staff and volunteers and everyone who helps to give us this magnificent weekend. Onward!
Deb Karpek, WFS Board Member & Moderator
Muskego, Wisconsin
Each day I am reminded of the gift WFS has given me. My life has been changed in such a profound way and enriched by the women I have met over the past 20 years in moderating a group. The icing on the cake is the tremendous opportunity to meet even more courageous women each year at the conference. I am always in awe at the determination and sacrifices it takes to attend the conference, the support given WFS through the phenomenal fund raising auction and, most of all, the willingness of the women to share love, support and compassion with each other.
I was so impressed with Rita Miller’s topic of “Change.” She understands the philosophy of WFS so well and gave me a great deal to contemplate when considering how to handle change. Most of all, her closing words on what creates change, struck a strong chord with me. I see this in the women who are not sure they have a problem or, if they do, aren’t sure they are ready for change. I also see it in the women who have realized they want and need to change. It’s a joy to see those women changing right before my eyes, week after week.
Rita’s closing words:
Rita also helped me to see the word “don’t” in a whole new light and I am so much more aware of my responses. I never realized that saying, “Don’t give up” is like saying “give up.” Now I say, “Keep trying” and it is a lot more positive response.
The “Decision Making” workshop taught me new skills in sorting out my confusion in a particular situation. In addition to learning new skills, I experienced a great deal of support and affirmation by the women attending. Against many odds, stumbling blocks and fears, so many women have made “the” decision to find ways to change, to become - through WFS.
In the poetry class, I saw the path of recovery come alive in words. It was exhilarating to witness. As I mentioned at the closing on Sunday, one of my favorite songs that helped me through many difficult changes is “Walking Away a Winner” by Kathy Mattea. It was especially meaningful when I was going through my divorce. The chorus explains it all –
I’m walking away a winner
I’m walking away from a losing game
With my pride intact and my vision back, I can say
I know where I’m going and I know I’ll be alright
I’m walking away a winner
Walking back into my life.
The conference ran so smoothly, thanks to the entire WFS staff: Becky & Ralph, Mary, Caitlin, Megan, & Crystal. I know it takes a lot of work to create such an outstanding event. We are extremely fortunate to have such a talented, capable, exceptional staff! I can’t wait until next year. For me, it was worth the 15 hour drive.
Dee Waddington - President, WFS Board of Directors